Dear Sir or Madman Madam:
"I am sure you have looked through several resume with the same information about work experience,education, and references. I am not going to give you any of that stuff."
"I would love to interview for the position of (insert job title here), I feel confident you'll see why I'm the right person for the job."
"My mother delivered me without any anesthesia so I have an IQ of 146 and can therefore learn anything.
"i enjoy working closely with customers,and my pleasant demeanor helps them feel comfortable and relaxed-not afraid."
"I realise that my total lack of appropriate experience may concern those considering me for employment." But "I have integrity,so I will not steal office supplies and take them home."
"Please don't regard my 14 positions as job-hoping,I never once quit a job." "They stop paying me." "In my next life,I will be a professional backup dancer or a rabbi, "but for now, "I'm attacking ,my resume for you to review." I realise that my resume is no longer exemplary thanks to my family destroying the computer file." Nevertheless, "here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
Hapless Job Seeker.readersdigest,june 2009~resumania.com