Tuesday, June 8, 2010

SeLaMaT TinGGaL AnaKaNDa Ku SaYaNg....

Korang tau kan aku pegi Colombo last weekend..sebabnye si Speckybee ada badminton friendly.Pegi tu terhentak2..sakit betul perut aku.Balik pun mcm tu jugaklah..

Then,keesokkan harinya...aku tgk aku ada bleeding..mcm permulaan period.Sgt sedikit.Then aku pegi check doctor OPD.Doc OPD refer aku pada Radiologist utk scanning. Kemudian, Radiologist refer aku pada O&G. Masa aku jumpa Radiologist, doctor tu dah ckp, fetus aku tidak membesar. Masih 8mm yolk saiz aku.Bila pegi jumpa O&G, doctor bgtau,ade 2 perkara yg dia boleh lakukan, iaitu tunggu hingga fetus tu gugur sendiri atau dia akan induce untuk gugurkan fetus.Dan O&G kata dia lebih prefer let the nature handle this.So,aku akan tunggu hingga saat keguguran sebenar berlaku.

Kalau korang tanya mcmana perasaan aku sekarang, terus terang aku ckp aku dah xde perasaan. Setitik air mata pun xde aku tumpahkan.Sampai saat entry ni ditulis, perasaaan aku adalah BLUR! Nak menangis pun tidak, nk ketawa apatah lagi.Mujurlah hari2 sebelumnya aku sempat membacakan surah Yassin setiap hari..Bacaan itu,walaupun ditujukan pada bayi yang aku kandung, tapi sebenarnya lebih menjurus kepada diri aku sendiri...Kesedaran mengenai proses kejadian manusia yg tercatat pada ayat 77.Supaya aku lebih kuat menghadapi hari2 mendatang.

Kalau anak pertama, Uyin, aku gambarkan sebagai sinar sang suria yg menyinari hidup kami,kehadiran anak kedua ini pula umpama bulan yang mengambang di malam gelita.Kehadirannya di dalam rahim aku ketahui pada ulangtahun kelahiranku.Ditambah pula berita kenaikan gaji suami.Memang kehadirannya membawa berita gembira kepada kami sekeluarga.Tapi hanya sekejap saja tuhan pinjamkan dia...hadir hanya untuk menyampaikan berita gembira pada ibu,abah dan kakak Uyin sahaja...kemudian perlahan2 dia pergi meninggalkan kami...Apa yang pasti,walaupun hanya seketika..kehadirannya mmg membuat aku tersenyum...senyuman paling manis di hari ulangtahun kelahiranku...terima kasih anakanda..Syukur alhamdulillah,aku dikurniakan anak2 yang baik...yg menyenangkan hati kami sebagai ibu dan abah..

Buat masa sekarang, sambil menantikan saat2 aku berpisah dengan bayi yg dikandung ini, aku tetap teruskan minum susu Anmum. Barangkali,semua sudah sedia maklum bahawa sebelum ini aku seorang manusia yg bencikan susu, tapi demi buah hati ini, aku sanggup minum. Ini pengorbanan aku.Hingga sampai hari terakhir dia berpisah dari kandungan aku, aku nak anak ini tahu, yg kami semua sayangkan dirinya..aku akan habiskan susu ini supaya dia dpt menikmati segala zat yg terbaik..walaupun aku tau, segala sudah tidak berguna....

Bagi sesiapa yg senasib dengan aku, aku nasihatkan jangan mengalah.Sebab kuasa Allah melebihi dari segala-galanya.. Di bawah ini aku tampalkan sebuah forum mengenai hal ini yg kita boleh kongsi bersama:

heartbeat but fetus not growing?

by scaredfornumber3, Jul 14, 2007 12:00AM

I have had a few miscarriages so I have been monitored closely this pregnancy. I have had three ultrasounds. At 5.5 weeks we saw the sac and fetal pole and then at 6.5 weeks we saw the heartbeat. I went last week to at 8.5 weeks to see the baby again and we found out we did have twins..but one didn't make it and the other is measuring the same as it did two weeks ago but still has a heartbeat. my doctor said there is no hope and that when the heart stops he will do the d&c, so i go back next week for a scan again. Anyone ever had this and the baby survived?

by ShamansMommy, Jul 14, 2007 12:00AM
Why does he think there is no hope for the other baby?

by scaredfornumber3, Jul 14, 2007 12:00AM
Because the baby hasn't grown at all in two weeks. It is measuring two weeks behind and we've been monitoring the growth of one of the babies for the last few weeks. So, because I was 8.5 weeks and it looked more like 5-6 he said there was no hope.

by ZevasMom, Jul 14, 2007 12:00AM
Sometimes Dr.s (in all their infinite wisdom) can be jerks! I know that being pregnant with twins can slow the size of both of them down. I would think that because you were pregnant with twins and then lost one, it might take a bit for the other baby to catch up. I will keep you in my prayers, and I know that many other women on here pray for each other also... Keep us informed :o)

by scaredfornumber3, Jul 18, 2007 02:26PM
hi, I am updating to let you know that I went in today to see if the heart had stopped beating and instead witnessed a miracle. my doctor had tentatively scheduled my d&c for tomorrow as long as the baby had passed. Instead we saw a beautiful 10w1d old baby. My doctor said it is a miracle and goes to show that science isn't in control...GOD is. Last week the baby measured 6 weeks at best so the fact that it was 10w1d with arms, legs and a moving head..was amazing. What a joy to see that screen today. hope this gives hope to someone else going through something similar.
Thanks again for the responses.

by krysnzura@hotmail.com, Jul 23, 2007 12:16PM
To: scaredfornumber3
Wow, your story has definately given me hope. My husband and I are going through a similar situation. We went to the doctor the week before last and they found the fetal pole and a flicker on the screen, which the tech. believed to be a heartbeat. Although, she said it was too faint for her to pick up the sound. Last week we went back and the baby has grown, it is measuring 6 weeks which is exactly on cue with the date I believe to have conceived. But, this time no heartbeat can be detected. The doctor suggested possible missed miscarriage and tested my progesterone level. My progesterone level is above 20, which is good, and I havent had any cramping or bleeding. I'm still having pregnancy symptoms like frequent urination, nautiousness, sore breasts, food adversions and facial breakouts. On Wed. of this week we go back to the doctor for another u/s. The baby should be measuring 7 weeks. Hopefully we will see the heartbeat. It could have been that the tech. never really detected the hb the first time which is why it wasn't there the last. This time I have faith it will be there. GOD IS WONDERFUL!!!!!! your situation is just another sign of that. I am expecting my own miracle on Wed., and with all of my family, including my church family and friends praying for us, my faith has become stronger. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy, just keep God first and everything will turn out for the best.

by Adolphin69, Aug 16, 2007 11:15PM
To: scaredfornumber3
I had the same happen.. I was pregnant with twins and miscarried one of them at 6 weeks.. At that time the drs said there was no hope for the other baby. I am currently 17 weeks pregnant and the baby is only measuring 13 weeks 4 days. I have an Amnio in the morning to determine why he is not growing. There was a week that his heart rate dropped below 50 bpm. But now it is back in the 140's. All I can say is pray that everything will work out. I will keep you in my prayers.

Good Luck

by KMG123, Aug 22, 2007 09:30PM
To: scaredfornumber3
Thank you so much for your story of hope, as I am in a similar situation. The past three weeks have been so difficult, the doctor keeps saying to prepare ourselves for the worst, and that there was no chance for the baby to survive, as the baby is measuring two weeks behind. They schedule me for a D & C last Friday, but had me come in one more time last Thursday, and they saw a heartbeat, it was slow, but there was definately a heartbeat. The doctor still is not hopeful, but we waited a week, and I am going in tomorrow to see if there has been any growth in the baby. I will be 9 weeks 4 days tomorrow. I had no idea so many women are going through the same thing...it is so difficult to get through each day, without hope, it would not be possible! The best to all of you I will pray for your babies and for your strength during this difficult time. Also Scared for Number 3 for me too!!

by 1233, Jun 07, 2009 12:55AM
Wow....these stories are so awesome. Im in the same situation but its a little worse. I had to go to the emergency room a few days ago b/c I started bleeding heavy. Im 8 weeks pregnant and when they did the ultra sound the baby only measured 6 weeks old. Later that night I started having pains in my stomach and the doc the next morning told me Im in the early stages of a miscarrage (miscarriage). Its been 3 days now and the pain has stopped. I go Monday to get my blood work checked out and that will tell us more about whats going on..Ive been praying so hard the last few days and when I read everyones stories it really gives me hope and reminds me that if its Gods will he will provide a miracle for my situation!

Nampak tak? Ada banyak kes2 mcm ni..cuma jgn putus harap dan doa..Kalau org bukan muslim pun boleh sekuat ini, kita org2 Islam patutnya lebih lagi..Jangan terlalu pessimistic, sebab tidak ada yg mustahil jika Allah berfirman, Kun Faya kun...Wallahualam..

34 comments:

tehr said...

salam
saya pernah kehilangan seperti anda dan faham apa perasaan anda

'semua yang kita miliki hanya pinjaman sahaja'

mrsyusofhussain said...

speechless!! tapi nak buat cmne kak, takde rezeki...ada hikmah di atas segala nya kan...be strong

|| NaFiRaa || said...

betul tuh.. kuasa Allah melebihi segalanya.. yang penting kita kena tawakal.. redha kalo ape2 jadik.. semoga u trus kuat k~ ai doakan yang terbaik untuk kamu dan baby~

zuar said...

sabar byk2..doa byk2 supaya Allah bagi yang lain nanti.Macam Dr Fadzilah Kamsah ajar:

1.Innalillahiwainnailaihirajiun..

2.Aku redha dengan ketentuanmu.

3. Aku hilang....(sebutkan hilang pe).Gantikan aku...(sebutkan nak pe).

Untuk benda hilang boleh berdoa camni..

ainiayu said...

salam anis....sedihnya..tp sabaq ye...Allah maha mengetahui apa yg lbh baik utk anis....jgn putus asa utk usaha....insyaallah anis akan dpt apa yg dihajatkan.....

cahaya nuranie said...

salam.. anis.. takziah.. aku fhm perasaan ko.. sekurang2nya ko dah ade uyin.. aku ni chy mata pertama dh meninggalkan aku... x dpt digambarkan betapa sedihnya.. namun.. yakinlah bahawa Allah lebih tahu apa yg terbaik utk kita.. byk2 bersabar.. insyaAllah ada rezeki lagi...

p/s: i'm 5 weeks pregnant now and i had threatened abortion.. baru smlm bleeding & doc advise soh byk2 rest... aku dah trauma mcm masa 1st preggy dulu but i keep on praying to Allah hoping that everything is fine.. be strong k!

Anonymous said...

:) smile anis!~
sgt memahaminya... i'allah ada rezki nnti... try lagi after 3mos ok!~
c u 2moro evning...memndgkn knk2 riang xbole bwk so, kita je la kn hiihi~

blackroses said...

anis...sayapun faham perasaan awak..bukan sekali terjaid pada saya..tetapi banyak kali...rasanya sungguh memeritkan..paling sedih kandungan pertama saya carry sampai 15weeks...xtahu nak kata aper...la ni nak pregnant susah dapat sebab sperm hubby ada masalah dan doc tengah beri rawatan pada dia..dah 4 tahun saya kawin...anak xda lagi

en_me said...

sedih kanns..

nice blog, keep it up..

Shauda said...

sdey baca entri ni..trus t'igt pd baby yg masi baru dlm perut ni..kena jaga dia elok2..pe pun kuatkan smgt!

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

tehr~ benar tu..sume hanya pinjaman...

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

lia~ thanks lia..

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

nafira~ walaupun harapan sgt tipis..tp tetap jugak letak harapan..tetap gak minum susu tu..sob!sob!

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

zuar~ kalau brg ilang,bolehlah..kalo manusia,mmg xkan sama kalau berganti..

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

kak aini~ erm..xpa..tgh slow2 terima kenyataan ni..hehe..

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

shams~ aku sure hg sgt2 faham..alhamdulillah dah ada bb baru..jaga baik2 tau...aku doakan..insyallah...

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

liza~ yeaah, kehadiran Tun smlm mmg benar2 menceriakan hati ini..!

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

blackroses~ mmg kehilangan tu sgt memeritkan kan..tp percayalah,kalau xde kehilangan,xkan ada penghargaan...betul tak?

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

en me~ sedih....tp nk buat cmna..time kacih...dtg lagi ye..

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

shauda~ yes! jaga baik2 key...kuatkan semangat dan bersikap optimistic sentiasa..

~ZArInA~ said...

anis!sabaq na..aku risau juga diawal masa hg ckp nk tgu g scan skali lagi tue..risau takut jd camnie,coz opismate aku ada jd camtue juga...tp ALLAH maha berkuasa,hanya DIA yg mengetahui segalanya...so anis,tabahkan hati n kuatkan iman,insyaallah ALLAH S.W.T akan mempermudahkan segalanya...ini hanya ujian kecil utk melihat n menduga hambanya....

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

zack~herm..nk buat camna..tkda rejeki..skang ni pun dah start proses keguguran tu berlaku...aku terima ja lah..thanks friend..

NURUL IZZA said...

sabar ye kak anis.ada rezeki lain nnt.insyaAllah..

blackroses said...

semoga impian kita akan tercapai

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

izza~ insyallah...thanks ye izza..

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

blackroses~ mudah2an...yg penting jgn berhenti berdoa kan..

vivavogue said...

owh anis.....takziah dan semoga tabah...tp anis mmg tabah pon....baguslah anis x tergolong dlm org2 yg lama2 bersedih2an...lets move 4ward...aja!

p/s: take care...

MamaAqil said...

lor anis, takziah...takpalah anis, takdak rezeki lg, kot2 nnt ada yg lebih baik k. sory lmbat skit sbb jrg online skng nie...sabaq banyak2 k..

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

kak yani~ hihi..thanks sis..tabah ler sgt...apa terjadi hidup mesti terus, kan...

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

pikah~ thanks friend..Allah bg pinjam kejap pun aku dah syukur dah..

Anonymous said...

salam anis....salam takziah dri aku & safwan & rina....banyak kan sabar ye nis....stiap Qada' & Qadar allah dah tentukan...anggap ia satu ujian untuk hadapi hari2 yg mendatang....insyaallah... Allah sentiasa bersama ngan org2 yg besabar dan ada hikmah di sebalik ape yg ditentukan......

aNiS tHe BumbleBee said...

tini~ thanks tini...aku tgh kuatkan hati nk tempuh semua2 ni...doa kt aku key..

linda said...

akak lg sedih, anak akak meninggal masa akak lam pntang...huhuhuhuuu

Kisah Kasih said...

Saya sedang mengandung 3 bulan..dan baru-baru ni scan cuma ada kantung namun janinnya tiada...kini menunggu 2 minggu untuk dnc..saya juga menunggu masa utk berpisah dgn anak saya...perasaa?? saya juga tidak tahu apa perasaan yang saya tanggung sekarang...

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